Janicious

I just had an interesting chat section with my colleagues today. They were telling me all the funny things happened in the office. I appreciated this moment because I used to do it all the time when I was in my old company. Finally, I realized I’ve missed out such a good company due to some misunderstanding. All in all, time cant fly back to past but only accept it and start a new page of all. Fresh graduated student like me will only put under assistant for the managers. I am still lacking of experience. Realizing that are much more stuff for me to learn. Well, i only can try my best to show them what I have and is worth to hire me as staff. How I wish I could maintain my status in my old company instead of starting everything all over again. The feeling isn’t feel good and satisfied. I hope that I can perform well in Kota kinabalu event so that my boss would give opportunity for me to get promotion ;) good night all.

Does everyone have a hard time story? I guess everyone has ones. Today’s break, I went down to eat while my colleague came along when I was about to finish eating. He is my creative manager. He handles all the designs and he is good at it. He told me about his past before he became so good and high position in the company.

I am a new comer. Many of them like to sit down with me and tell me about their experiences and past. To me, an experience will always lead me to higher level of maturity. They taught me a lot and I learn even more. I appreciate the chances of meeting new people to have a better understanding of the company and the reality. For a young fresh graduated student, there are many more things to learn.

I am getting inspired to work every day. No doubts, I was not feeling comfortable in working there earlier because they are more on malay base. However, as time passed, there are no differences. I could learn even more because my company subs out all kind of services. From there, I can gain all kind of experiences.

My boss came to ask me, how much do I expect to earn after 6 months of working there? I answered 2.5k. haha. Well, I should set it higher so that I can throw out my full force to earn that monthly salary. By the way, my boss confirmed me within 2 weeks of working time. Well, is kinda shocked when he gave me that confirmation letter. Overall, I shall not let him and myself down as I promised.

I would say I have go through a hard time story before I am so independence now. Well, now here is another hard time journey has started. How about yours?

I am going to work on 5 March, 2012. There is not much time left for me to play around. Will needed to work hard for future in order to live better. You and I have an agreement to fight for the future together. Its good to have motivation on working however, unsure when it started I taking this seriously. Started to care you more yet losing confident in being a perfect one in your eyes. I’m afraid to step out because I don’t want the history to be repeated. Hence, I only will wait for it, your calls and messages.

I keep my feeling and emotional to myself because I do not want to rely so much on you. Do not want to make you think that I’m not independence or attention seeker. I give you privacy time and space so that we could have time to do our favorite things. Somehow, it makes me feel so insecure that you might lose interest in me. haha„ maybe im just thinking too much. That is why, until today I didn’t want to couple with you so that at the end, we won’t get much hurt when we losing each other one day. Other than this, I knew that my feeling towards someone could change within a day. With this unstable heart, it is better to stay single. I am quite lazy to rebuild a relationship repeatedly. Its kind of stupid and waste of time. Well, I’ll just follow whatever God has planned for me.

I started to worship God much often because I recently met a woman whom believes so much in God. When I was working in Ikano, she was there telling me about her life and the right thoughts to do in living. No doubts, I learnt so much from her and she even sends me prayers via sms whenever I need to make a decision.  She makes me understand about life and we should not have give up easily when we face problems. Work hard and eventually the returns will come. At here, I would like to thank you God for giving me such a good opportunity and much more convenient work place to me. When I have time, I will worship you more. Besides, thank you God for giving me a guardian angel that could accompany all these while when I was falling. Without his caring, I might not able to move on. To the woman I met, thanks for teaching me so much about life and I’m glad to meet you. I appreciating everything you have did for me. thank you so much. God bless.

很感谢你的照顾在马六甲，看到你那么关心，那么的好，真的很喜欢你。。。当初很想当面和你说分手，想见你最后一次，但是却实现不了。。。我很想把你的心给赢回来，因为你真的很好。。。很可惜，一切都太迟了。。。你不在属于我了。。。也不再是朋友了，只能默默的等待，好让时间把不开心的回忆给冲淡它。。。希望你能找到你爱的人。。。再见了

We were wrong at the beginning. Just that, we did not thought that it could lead us into this serious situation. Hence, it is time to wake up before everything is too late. Tonight, we are not feeling good either. It might be our sleepless night. I hope that you really understand the exact point I was talking about. it doesn’t matter if you ask for more or no, there’s always someone out there which need to be concern about. Learn to care about other’s feeling. There’s nothing personal. This is the lesson I saw from us. We both have fault and need to be responsible for everything. To reduce hurts, I decided it for you instead. I could have just blindfold my eyes and remain everything. However, we shouldn’t be selfish. If I am important to you, so do I.

I already have one closest stranger and I don’t want you to be the second one. Before everything is too late, we should’ve wake up by now and we can still remain our friendship. If you need me to listen to your heart, I will never disappoint you and I’ll be there.